


Someday, somehow ( maybe I'll tell you)

by sasshope



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Hui is whipped, Hyojong has too many feels, Kino is the genius we all need in our lives, M/M, Past Relationship(s), somebody give a happy ending to these sad gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 20:25:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasshope/pseuds/sasshope
Summary: Written messages ; no name ; yet Hyojong remembers





	Someday, somehow ( maybe I'll tell you)

**Author's Note:**

> Somehow , I've been stuck into writing fanfiction instead of studying. If I fail my exams you know why.

“I dream about holding you into my arms … and I wish you are happy, even if it’s not with me. Therefore, I conclude that I am in love with you.” On a napkin with coffee stains on it.

Few words and no name … but Hyojong remembers all too well and all too much; soft hands holding his, the summer heat and feeling that the world shrank until only the two of them were the only ones remaining.

Time itself stopped and so his breath.

He remembers writing “I miss you “. A simple text, three words and a world full of unspoken feelings behind it. 

\- Thinking about you makes me miss you more-

He remembers never sending it.

His heart is there collecting dust; and summer is not warm anymore. It feels scorching on his skin. Tears have dried on his face; no traces on the skin but deep, open and raw wounds on his soul ( he hopes they will scar; after everything it would be a shame to remain with nothing ).

“ In my blue dream I want to contain you even if it’s not real” in black ink on the walls of the bus station where he waits for the bus that takes him home.  
\---

“You walked three kilometers out of your way to see me for ten minutes before my shift ends?” Hyojong feels the need to ask because it’s hard to believe. It’s absolutely ridiculous. 

Who in their right minds would even do such a thing? It is plain stupid ... but it’s so endearing …

“Correction: I ran for three kilometers.”

Out of breath, sweaty, blood dripping from a small wound on his leg, chaffing from the repeated contact of his shoe with his right foot.

Hui is lovely. Sweet and innocent with his intentions and plainly obvious puppy crush.

“ That’s stupid, Hwitaek.” Hyojong says yet Hwitaek’s smile does not falter ( not until Hyojong looks in another direction) and no tear leaves his eyes ( not until Hyojong is long  
gone yet Hwitaek is still there in front of the store looking and feeling like a fool ).

\---

He promised to wait; 

“ What if you’ll have to wait for your entire life?”

“I would.”

“You’d wait for me for your entire life?”

“A promise is a promise”

“That’s stupid, Hyojong.”

His house is empty. Were it used to be sunshine now is ashes.

A life in grayscale; but he promised.

A promise made to someone who probably already forgot about him; one that tore his heart apart; a promise still.

It took half of a soul to let go yet still…

As he lies awake at night he remembers how it used to be: lazy mornings, their hands intertwined; dreaming the same dream.

It’s bitter now;  
\---

He sees Hui from times to times. He’s with another boy, holding hands and Hyojong finds himself wondering if that boy feels like the most special person in the universe. He surely does. Hwitaek has this way of looking at you, of loving you that makes you feel like… even if you’ll fall you’ll never get hurt.

A safe space for your heart.  
\---

Hwitaek noticed Hyojong looking at him from across the street. His makeup was smudged under the corners of his eyes and he had a runny nose.

The grey t-shirt he was wearing had some holes in it; Not big enough to be considered tears in the fabric and not small enough to be considered a fashion statement.

There was nothing poetic about it yet Hwitaek smiled; he smiled because he knew the Hyojong was going to be fine. He was finally allowing himself to feel something so it was going to be alright.

He was not dumb, even though sometimes he liked to pretend he didn’t know half of what was happening. He knew about Kino, about how he left; about Hyojong’s promise to wait for him no matter how long it took. Yuto told him about it, how foolish it was for him to promise that instead of realizing that some things are not meant to last and letting it go.

Hwitaek didn’t think it was stupid though. He knew what kind of person Hyojong was: his feelings so strong to the point where trying to let them go would hurt him more than waiting for something that was never going to happen.

Hyojong’s breath got stuck in his throat the moment Hwitaek crossed the street and entered the store:

“ I want to talk about the two of us. “ he said instead of a greeting.

Hyojong agreed with a small nod of his head, even though, unbeknownst to anyone but him, his heart was beating so wild it threatened to break out of the cage of his chest.

“ You think it’s your fault that we ended up like this but , honestly , it isn’t. It is not your fault you could not love me just like it is not my fault that I could not stop loving you so much. Maybe the universe just decided to be shitty towards us or fate just wanted to be rebellious and make a dick move or it was god’s way of giving us a lesson but , whatever it was, it was not your fault; so don’t take the blame for it; I won’t either.”

But Hui was wrong. Hyojong was already in love with him. He remembered meeting him and thinking he was not beautiful; at least not by the conventional standards ( his cheekbones too high, his nose too big , his jaw line not defined enough ); yet he was captivating; it was in his smile- childlike innocence; it was in his gaze: youthful desire; it was in the tiny creases between his eyebrows – ancient like wisdom. He had some scars here and there on his body. They were not poetic and there was not much of a story behind any of them. He had a tiny mole, hidden on his ring finger. It was distracting in a captivating way : maybe because it was extremely hard to notice it.  
\---

When Kino returned Hyojong could not believe it. 

It took the other one gaze to tell him : 

“ You didn’t keep your promise; and that’s okay. Hyojong I loved you and I hoped you’ll move on. I hoped you’ll live. Not in the way I used to but I still love you.  
Hyojong felt free, felt like he was finally allowed to breathe:

“ I love him yet I am so afraid I lost him forever.”

“ If it’s love then it is worth fighting for.”  
\---

“ I realized I was in love with you on a winter day. You were so beautiful and I was so scared.” Sprayed with purple graffiti on entrance to Hwitaek’s block of apartments.

“So show me” written with an almost empty blue ballpoint pen on a coffee stained napkin sat on the table at Hyojong’s workplace.


End file.
